As much as we would like to think the adoption system is fluid and works as well as advertisements suggest, the process is not easy especially when you? Are looking to adopt an infant? With as endearing as it is to finally have your own child, make sure you enter into the process with your eyes wide open so that should the road get rocky, you?
It Takes a Long Time
while the adoption agencies and statistics will point to adoption occurring within 6 to 18 months, there are laundry lists of individuals that have had to wait upward of 6 years. Many, unsurprisingly, went through a period where they played with the idea of just giving up altogether.
There’s nothing wrong with being hopeful and a good number of people are matched with an infant in about a year’s time. However, don’t underestimate the chance of a longer wait happening. Infants are in higher demand than they are available, meaning not everyone finds a child right at the start. Be ready for a wait. This way, if you happen to get matched immediately, it’s a happy surprise.
There Are Scammers
Just like on the internet and during every century of man’s existence, there are those that seek to take advantage of the system. This leads to months of waiting for a baby to be born to a couple that was going to be put up for adoption only to then find out the couple has cut and run. This can happen multiple times, especially when paired with a birthmother.
This isn’t always malicious, though. Pregnant women that say they want to give up their unborn child for adoption are flooded with chemicals and hormones following birth that connect them to their baby. Because of this, a good many have a change of heart after the child is born, leaving hopeful adoptive parents left to search for yet another infant. If you’re not mentally prepared for such a challenge during infant adoption, remember to do everything through an agency to protect yourselves from this situation.
You Need to Decide on Open or Closed
Arguably the hardest decision you will have to make will be opting for an open or closed adoption. With open adoptions, the birthmother is allowed to see her child about once per year. Though they can never legally get the child back, there are parents that will try to poison their children as a way to regain control. On the other hand, there are many mothers that are forever grateful that you allowed them to remain in their baby’s life.
Closed adoptions cut off all contact between you and the birthmother. The records are locked away until the child is 18. Many opt for this form of infant adoption as it means you can reveal to your child on your terms that they were adopted.